by Garrett Rowlan
On a September night in Los Angeles 
I’ll always remember my father’s expression
as he climbed out of the water, his anger restrained under tight lips. I equate
that expression with the Topps’ baseball card of 1959 depicting Pittsburgh
reliever Roy Face. He’s shown poising with his arms lifted and his eyes cut
toward some imaginary runner leading off first base. I have that card. A glance
at it brings me back to the night of September eleventh, a date later to live
in infamy. Roy Face had won eighteen straight games that 1959 season. The
Pirates had come to Los Angeles Los Angeles 
I was ten years old in 1959. I was on
the cusp of things. We all were. It was about to be a new decade, with a new
President, and our family was about to move, choosing a better house uptown.
These facts alone make the Roy Face’s 1959 card and other Topps’ for that year
memorable. They set a marker. They look backward and forward. The oval-shaped
pictures in the front of the card suggest a window into the past. Turn the card
over and you’ll see the players’ stats. For me those numbers had the allure of
the ancient and obscure, and since they include minor league totals, a hint of
the American hinterland, of the smell of hay and the taste of corn and small
motels like those we’d see or sleep in every summer driving north from Los
Angeles to my father’s family in Kalispell, Montana.  The players, depicted on the front side, steel-eyed
and strong-jawed in the sun, strike poses that are almost mythic: pitchers
winding up and following through, batters poising to swing, the bat raised and
cocked. Often I’ll see behind them some looming stadium from the era when
Eisenhower was President, colonnades and stanchions that suggest an imperial
reign in its decline, and blues skies beyond without a hint of ozone depletion.
The sort of blue that is behind Bud
Daley who pitched for the Kansas City Athletics. His 1959 picture shows him captured
in his follow-through pose. The photo was taken on the grounds of what I assume
to be the old Monarch Stadium in Kansas
  City 
I recall the splash of chlorinated
blue as my father fell into the water. He had been trying to teach my mother
how to dive, instructions he gave without demonstrating them himself. (He was
hydrophobic. Holiday weekends we would drive up the California Santa Barbara 
Otherworldly, like the hull of an
abandoned spaceship, is how the batting cage behind Bobby Thomson looks in his 1959
baseball card. The athlete’s face is back-dropped by the oddly-shaped
structure. On the card’s reverse side is a cartoon on the upper right hand
corner that shows a smiling figure. It is Thomson being carried on the
shoulders of his teammates while the caption reads, “Bobby’s homer won the 1951
pennant for the Giants.” I had dreamed of some kind of similar glory, some defining
career moment culminating in fame, a hillside house, and a swimming pool. I had
already projected myself into the future as a baseball star and wrote out
complete statistics for a major league career beginning in 1970 or so, by which
time, in reality, I was working for minimum wage. I had written that I would
hit fifty-one homers in 1973 and recall thinking, even at age ten or so, that
that number was a bit excessive. Remember, this number was projected a couple
of years before Roger Maris broke the Babe’s record, and well before Sammy Sosa
and Mark McGuire began their chemically-enhanced pursuits of Maris’s record and
its eventual eclipse. I’d like to state now for the record that my fifty-one
home runs in 1973 were hit without the use of steroids. They were powered
strictly by fantasy. 
I still make up statistics about
myself, though sometimes I view my career in baseball in retrospection and
modesty. My life experiences have imposed upon me a regimen of lowered reverse
accomplishments. I still have those fantasies I mentioned earlier, but often
now I’m not a star player anymore swatting fifty home runs a year, but a
utility player or a pitcher who had parlayed a tricky pitch or modest hitting
skills into a brief career. The numbers I give myself are mundane, certainly
nothing on the scale of Billy Pierce’s 1.97 ERA in 1955, another gleaming
statistic from the 1959 Topps’ set. Usually I apportion myself a career of some
five or six years, ending around 1980, with a batting average in the high two
hundreds and, if I’m a pitcher, victories ranging from thirty to sixty in that
span of time. What I’m saying is that I stay in pro baseball long enough to get
my pension, something I think about in real life. If I’m feeling expansive and
consider the fact that I was in the same profession for almost twenty-five
years, and have now retired, I extend my modest achievements, lengthening my career
to a dozen years and my wins to around one-hundred. I’ll even take the record
of Pedro Ramos, the Cuban-born pitcher who pitched for fifteen years, from 1955
to 1970, won one-hundred and seventeen games and lost one hundred and sixty. 
My father, you might say, had a lifetime
record also on the losing side. He’d suffered various disappointments, and
often he vented resentment at the stupid and powerful having so much influence.
Richard Nixon was always a prominent object of his scorn. As was, I believe,
Walter O’Malley, the owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers, who brought his team out
West in 1958, displacing the residents of Chavez Ravine in order to construct
Dodger Stadium. 
It was a sort of protest, then, his
taking us to see the Los Angeles Angels for their second-ever home game in
1961, the Haloes against the Minnesota Twins on Friday night, April 28, 1961. The
newly-formed Angels played in front of a crowd of 9,745. The pitcher that night
for the Twins, an expansion team, was Pedro Ramos. The Angels’ lineout
consisted of other teams’ cast-offs. Among those was Albie Pearson, the diminutive
center fielder, a pick-up from the Washington Senators. I doubt if my father
wanted to see the five-foot-five Albie Pearson play as much as I did. Still, it
would have suited him to support the underdog. He liked the idea of the
deprived, the oddball, and those who did the most with what they had. (He would
have liked David Eckstein, the Angels’ former shortstop.) He was opposed to the
waste and prejudices and inefficiencies that he thought characterized American
life. While my parents lived in San Francisco before I was born, he was an
advocate of Technocracy, a kind of quasi-socialistic form of organization based
on managerial expertise. Later on, after we had moved to Los Angeles 
The game went into extra innings
before the Angels won, 6-5, in the twelfth, Albie Pearson coming home from
third on a hit batter. I don’t remember that. We probably left early. The
results I got on microfilm. I don’t remember much about that night except my
mental snapshot of Pedro Ramos releasing a pitch under the bright electric
lights, and my feeling of the immensity of the surrounding stadium whose seats seemed
magnified in number, so that the domino-like acres of (mostly unfilled) chairs
suggest infinity. 
Those 1959 cards have an-almost
infinite fascination for me. They are consonant with the microfiche copies of old
newspapers and photographs and other artifacts that I use to dislodge relics of
recollection from the place where my father, other family members, and a few friends
have gone. When I turn over a baseball card, it’s another time. It’s Bud Daley
or Ralph Terry, another hurler for the Kansas City Athletics, throwing a pitch
against a pristine blue sky, and it’s also like Roy Face, looking over his
shoulder as if to see what’s coming next.
Garrett
Rowlan
is a retired substitute teacher with the Los Angeles Unified School District.
He has published about 40 stories, essays, and poems, most recently in Map Literary and the Cafe Irreal.
 
